Post by "BIGTYME" on Sept 6, 2005 12:06:01 GMT -5
Subject: New WIN98Subject: Check your Windows 98 program for the Southern Edition -
Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the south. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Robert E.Lee superimposed on a confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Dern Contraption
Dial Up Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as The Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 Wheel Drive
Floppies are them little plastic squar thangs, and Instead of an error message, a garbage bag and roll of duct tape pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
O.K. - ats aw-right
Cancel - stopdat
Reset - try er agin
Yes - yep
No - noop
Find - hunt fer it
Go To - over yonder
Back - git it agin
Help - hep me out hure
Stop - kwitit
Start - crank er up
Settings - sittins
Programs - stuff at duz stuff
Documents - stuff ah dune did
Run - git it a goin
Print - spit er out
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 98:
tiperiter - A word processing program
picher buk - Graphics programs
cyferin mersheen - Calculator
outhouse paper - Notepad
jukebox - CD Player
intemnet - Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers - A graphics viewer
irs - MS accounting software
irs 2 - MS acconting software with hidden files
taxes records - Usually an empty file
coon dawg - American Kennel Club record
hep a spellen - Spell check
You'll recognize WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the World Wide Web.
Fishin - Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
NRA - National Riffle Association
Shotgun - Remington Arms home page
Riffel - Winchester home page
Truck - Ford & Chevy dealers by zipcode
House - Mobile Home Repair service and movers by zip code
Cuzzins - Dating service extrodinar
Hunting- Southern Huntin
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused you if you have received a copy of WINDERS 98. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this heps all ya'll,
Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the south. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Robert E.Lee superimposed on a confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Dern Contraption
Dial Up Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as The Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 Wheel Drive
Floppies are them little plastic squar thangs, and Instead of an error message, a garbage bag and roll of duct tape pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
O.K. - ats aw-right
Cancel - stopdat
Reset - try er agin
Yes - yep
No - noop
Find - hunt fer it
Go To - over yonder
Back - git it agin
Help - hep me out hure
Stop - kwitit
Start - crank er up
Settings - sittins
Programs - stuff at duz stuff
Documents - stuff ah dune did
Run - git it a goin
Print - spit er out
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 98:
tiperiter - A word processing program
picher buk - Graphics programs
cyferin mersheen - Calculator
outhouse paper - Notepad
jukebox - CD Player
intemnet - Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers - A graphics viewer
irs - MS accounting software
irs 2 - MS acconting software with hidden files
taxes records - Usually an empty file
coon dawg - American Kennel Club record
hep a spellen - Spell check
You'll recognize WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the World Wide Web.
Fishin - Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
NRA - National Riffle Association
Shotgun - Remington Arms home page
Riffel - Winchester home page
Truck - Ford & Chevy dealers by zipcode
House - Mobile Home Repair service and movers by zip code
Cuzzins - Dating service extrodinar
Hunting- Southern Huntin
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused you if you have received a copy of WINDERS 98. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this heps all ya'll,
